Monday, 20 June 2016, By Sonya Keay

You see these people all the time. Motivated always jumping out of their


to train, always eating healthy. Never crave junk.

They look fabulous so confident and full of energy. They are into running or

Crossfit or kale juice or something else that keeps them full of energy.

They rock Lululemon pants and skinny jeans.

They totally, completely have it all together.


I want to be like that.."Make me look like them"

And, on the home front, you might have seen them at school drop-off, at the

grocery store, or dominating the running trails.

You can't help but think…Why do they have it all together, when I so clearly

do not?


Actually, They don't have it all together.

They too have days when they don't want to train. Don't want to get out of bed.

Want to eat junk food..


You have to face reality before you can become Them.

It's easy to believe that Everyone Else is doing so much better than you.

Everyone Else is losing weight or gaining muscle or getting fitter so much faster

and more effortlessly than you.

Everyone Else has their shit together. Everyone Else has everything you don't.

It feels like you're the only person in the world with your problems. That it's much

harder for you than for everyone else.

But the truth is:

There is no Everyone Else.

You see…




No one can escape the reality of family and deadlines and the

Thermodynamic laws that govern metabolism.


THEY don't exist the way you think they do.

We are all imperfect, wonderful, messy, very-much-human beings with hopes and

fears and desires and neuroses and jobs and lives and kids and dogs or cats and

family demands and toilets that need unclogging and lines-becoming-wrinkles and

alarms that go off too early and a love of chocolate-chip cookies… and all the rest

of reality.

None of it gets easier.


It's only once we're able to be honest about what's going on in our lives - to

stop worrying about being the only person who isn't fit enough, together enough,

getting enough things done in a day, a good enough mom / dad / worker,

whatever - that we can start becoming our own versions of THEM.

Want to know how it's done?


Step 1.Reconsider your expectations.

I have good news for you.

The good news is, if you're looking to get into reasonable, moderate shape - or

even pretty good shape  - you are completely capable of doing so.

You can regain control of your life and your habits. You can overcome emotional

eating issues. You can take care of others while still taking care of yourself. In fact,

you can even build a body that you love, and are proud of.

I know. I know. That body-love probably seems crazy and impossible right now.

But with some small, consistent changes, and support, these things are totally


In short -Getting into slightly better shape, or a slightly healthier routine, doesn't

take much effort. That may be what is realistic for most of us, right now.


Step 2.Find new 'That THEM' inspiration.

If your able to focus on something that actually works: small moments of health,

fitness, and wellness that you can do…today.

You feel a little bit more in control. And a little bit more positive.


Success is almost always built from putting small things on top of

small things on top of small things… until they're transformed into big


Step 3.Learn to be OK with being "not OK".

Much of the work is actually getting a little more comfortable with discomfort.

Step into the discomfort.

Let things be a bit messy.

You are human. You are normal. You are not a weirdo. You are not alone.


You also hear questions like:

How might you make things a little bit simpler for yourself?

What does it feel like to sit with the discomfort of change?

How could you stretch yourself just a bit?

Life is never going to be completely OK, 100 percent of the time.

The trick is to learn how to be OK with that not-OKness. Work on making things a

little bit better.

Step 4.Find your work-arounds.

It's not all-or-nothing. If you can't do an exercise or make the healthy dish you

found on Pinterest, don't let it be a reason to do nothing.

Find a work-around. Get help if you need it. Trust yourself to devise a system that

works for you. For example.

If your knees aren't as sturdy as they used to be, think about branching out from

your usual running routine. Or ask a trainer how an exercise can be modified.

If you don't like working out alone, find someone else to do this with. Grab a friend

or check out a group class.

Having trouble "finding time" for things? Get out a calendar and start planning.

Book appointments with yourself. Track your time so you spot inefficiencies. Set

Alarms and reminders, stick Post-it notes, do whatever it takes.


Everyone has to work at it, even THEM. Especially at the beginning.

People hate the feeling of exercise when they're out of shape. People suck when

they start a new sport. No one is good at squats the first time.

That's how you can tell who's actually good at getting help. (Hint:It's the folks who

look like they're actually good at things.)

It's not until we can accept how things are right now  - including how lost,

overwhelmed, and vulnerable we sometimes feel - that we can change.

Once we can accept things as they are, we become able to ask for help. We can

embrace and celebrate small improvements that add up over time. We can evolve

past an "all-or-nothing" attitude, to see the tiny joys and achievements that are

everywhere. We can pick ourselves up after we fall down, and have the courage to keep going.

The best part: The more we accept being not OK, the more life feels… well, a little more OK.

*Disclaimer: Individual results vary based on agreed goals. Click here for details.

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