Every time I have ventured on a weight loss journey, the goal has been to look a certain way for a specific event, but my motivation has been the fear of judgement from others. I didn't want to be the overweight birthday girl or the boomba bridesmaid with everyone staring at me. So, I would go into 'crazy mode', as my family and friends would call it, and trim off for the event. After the event however, I would struggle to stay that way and put some weight back on. Naturally I would feel horrible about myself but embarrassed that I would still have to see friends and family post event and stress about being judged for not being strong enough to keep the weight off.
After my brother's wedding in March this year, I had put on some of the weight I had lost and I was determined to lose it again. What I found strange was that my family and friends didn't understand why. "What for? You're fine the way you are" they'd say. Then I realised it was actually me. I didn't actually care they thought I was 'fine' the way I was. I wasn't 'fine' with it. I wanted to do it for me. It wasn't for an event where eyes would be on me, it was so I could be happy and confident within myself, permanently, not for the 1 day of a special event.
Then with the 9 week challenge approaching I thought it was a great opportunity to focus on me, set my own goal, and with the guidance and support of my Trainer and the amazing team at Vision Personal Training Prahran, achieve it for the benefit of no-one but myself.
The 9 week challenge was hard. I had to really focus on staying on track with my food and training program which wasn't always easy. The support from family and friends this time was different as well - they weren't so accepting when I didn't want to have a big night drinking or eating. What changed though was that I didn't feel like I was denying myself. I actually preferred to train and eat well. I felt better for it. Of course, staying focused wasn't always easy either. The support from my incredible Trainer, Jackson, was invaluable. He was always encouraging and provided positive reinforcement when I was disappointed in myself. He would remind me that I was on track and achieving great results, and that I was human, little hiccups along the way were natural. I had a few freak outs during the 9 weeks and poor Jackson copped my inane thoughts via text message! He would always respond optimistically, getting me back on track. The support from Vision and other members trying to achieve their personal goals really helped. It was reassuring talking to Jesse and other members during our Sunday morning walk club. It was great to talk about the challenge and have the other person actually understand what I was going through.
Whenever I had a bad day and not in the mood to train, I still forced myself to go - because I knew I'd feel better afterwards. I always feel better after PT or a class at Vision - it's hard not to have a laugh with these people!
The last few days of the challenge were the hardest, I was so nervous the night before my final weigh in I couldn't even sleep! I'm so proud of myself for signing up for this challenge and I think the most valuable lesson I have learnt is that I don't really care what others think of my weight. I need to feel comfortable in my own skin. Even though the challenge is officially finished, it's not for me. I will continue to follow the same training program and apply what I have learnt about nutrition to my food diary going forward. I know I still have the support of Jackson and the Vision Prahran team to continue achieving my goals.